9 Life Skills for Successful Adulting
Journey with me to Unfck yourself. =)
Some people just seem to always have it together. Then there are those who never seem to get it together. We sit on the sidelines, forcibly subjected to their complaints and rants about everything from using their poor kids as an excuse to have their heads up their asses, to how much work is controlling their lives, to how they are SO wrapped up in this and that to know that the earth is still spinning. We all have a cousin or acquaintance who just goes from bad break to bad break and we have to read their cryptic “It is what it is” and “you can’t trust people” “I know who my real friends are“etc.
And then there are those who seem to have it together a bit more. Although that may not be completely true, chances are, they have a handle on some of the skills below.
Let's begin...
Here are 9 basic things you should know to SUCCESSFULLY adult.
1. How to PROTECT YOUR SANITY - I put protecting your space and mental health FIRST. Without it, nothing else can evolve. You will be too busy trying to locate your sanity or pretend you are ok without it to get anything done. The stigma surrounding mental health still looms despite efforts to educate people on its vast definition. Protect your peace and don’t allow people with negative or worrisome energy to get too close. Tips: 1. If they don’t bring you joy or support, cut them off. Relation does NOT matter. 2. Consider a day, I like Sundays, to keep your phone in DND mode. 3. Take mini vacays. Or stay cays. Take yourself on an outing a day trip, doing something relaxing or enjoyable. This can be either alone or with your favorite person.
2. Your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
TalentSmart tested emotional intelligence alongside 33 other important workplace skills, and found that emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance, explaining a full 58% of success in all types of jobs. - Otherwise known as being aware of yourself. This is a social, eventful world. We have to deal with people more often than not at some point whether or not we are in the mood for it. Do yourself a favor and make sure you know how to handle your emotions and WHAT triggers different emotions in you. Tips: 1. I highly recommend this book: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 2. Stay away from triggers whenever possible. That thing or person that has the potential to take you out of your character. If you can’t avoid the trigger altogether, prepare yourself for the interaction ahead of time. 3. Think before you speak or react.
3. How to NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS - If you have only been losing friends over the years and not gaining any new ones it’s time to pause and think. Good relationships fill in our gaps and carry us through trying times when needed. Nurture them. Minus the people, you may have eliminated in #1, be a good friend, brother, sister, cousin. Be PRESENT. Tips: 1. Check on that strong friend or family member. 2. Set a time each week to do check-in calls. Make time for a quick meetup or visit. It doesn’t always have to be scheduled and fancy. 3. Just be a good human in general.
4. How to MANAGE YOUR MONEY - We’ve all been drilled on the importance of a budget, saving, and spending habits. They don’t teach us in school, and it’s hit or miss depending on the parents, that managing money is a MINDSET. It does not matter how much you make, because, it will never be enough if you don’t know how to respect it. This is how millionaires go broke. You put cash in the hands of irresponsible people and you will just get a rich idiot who goes broke. Tips: 1. Don’t be an idiot. 2. Consider taking a free course or using the internet for some free financial courses or articles. This will help expose you to the concepts of saving, budgeting, credit, and planning. 3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with managing your finances.
4. My current moolah reads Rich Dad Poor Dad and You Are A Badass At Making Money
5. How to MANAGE YOUR TIME
The most powerful word in our Time Management vocabulary is “no”. * Say it again for the people in the back!! - You simply cannot be successful without knowing how to manage your time unless you are a successful ball of chaos. Anyone with a purpose is busy, so it’s important to have a handle on both how to compartmentalize and schedule effectively. Saying you are too busy for someone or something you SAY is important can only truly be expressed in the time you give it. Truth: we make time for what we want. Tips: 1. Create a schedule and stick to it as closely as possible. 2. Schedule in personal time as well. This is especially helpful when you have an assistant or other people involved in your calendar. 3. Create boundaries. This keeps the chaos down and minimizes a schedule you can’t even keep up with
6. How to THINK CRITICALLY and SOLVE PROBLEMS - Let’s call this one common sense. It can’t really be taught. This is why we just raise our eyebrows at people we observe not to have it. But, the ability to formulate judgment and work through problems is a very important skill. It’s a standard processing skill and helps us navigate the decisions that affect our lives. The inability to think and solve problems can land someone in struggle after struggle. Tips: 1. Don’t repeat your mistakes. Learn from them. 2. Do your research, ask questions, and think about what the deeper meaning of a scenario can be. 3. Trust but verify what you are told. Don’t make snap decisions.
7. Basic SOCIAL SKILLS
According to The Guardian
- 1/3 of the young people polled said they hardly ever felt popular with their peers and 36% said it was “difficult to make friends”.
- Nine out of 10 said they were nervous about mixing with people from different backgrounds. - There are some parents that do their kids some unfortunate injustices and let them grow up with NO social skills. That awkward kid is all cute and coddled and then become an adult who can’t even hold a basic, normal conversation. That’s if we are lucky they don’t become, well, you know. Tips: 1. Socialize your kids. No, they don’t need to have a choice in that. 2. Talk to your kids. Help them learn communication. 3. Master this ASAP to improve your survival skills.
8. COMMUNICATION Skills - This is for the tone-deaf. This is for the people who listen to speak and NOT to understand. Once you have mastered the English language, it’s universal, so the slang and the very local word usage can get a rest. Poor communication costs companies $27 Billion a year. That is with a "b" people. Tips: 1. It’s not what you say but how you say it. 2. Listen before you speak. 3. Be simple and clear with how you interact with others.
9. S T R A T E G Y! Yes, I saved the best for last. - Thinking ahead and planning sets a roadmap to where you want to go. It’s the blueprint to how you get there. Everything starts with a plan. Tips: 1. With goals, start out and work your way in. With your plan, start with now, and work your way out. 2. Stay focused by putting your intentions somewhere you can see them daily. Consider an app like G-Keep to set daily reminders.
Wrap - Up:
We are never too old to learn. It's not a lost cause to improve our methods or how we live. Decision making is critical as are so many other things/ There is no manual to life, but hey, we can learn as we go!
In summary, you should know: 1. How to Protect Your Sanity 2. Your Emotional intelligence 3. How to Nurture Your Relationships 4. How to Manage Your Money 5. How to Manage Your Time 6. How to Think and Solve Problems 7. Basic Social Skills 8. How to Communicate Effectively 9. How to STRATEGIZE
I want to know:
Are you the master of any of these skills? Let me know!
Don't forget to share!
Happy adulting to you.
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Hey there, is this you?
- Oh my God! I hate my job! I need a new one.”
- Friend: “How’s work?” You: “Eh, it’s O K.”
- “I’m quitting this sht as SOON as [insert reason here].
If it IS you, we need to have a chat, my friend.
You need some Workplace Values therapy, and, I’m about to enlighten you so that you can get off of the excuses bus. The concept of knowing your values doesn’t get enough attention, but, it’s a pivotal career-clarifying breakthrough if you ask me.
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