The Power of Perspective
Updated: Feb 19, 2021
And How It C H A N G E D My Life!
Perspective [per-spek-tiv] noun
= Point of view or attitude/outlook on something
To gain an understanding of a situation or circumstance, you have to shift your PERSPECTIVE. Most commonly, when we say our perspective changed, it’s for the better, and that’s what we’re going to explore.
Perspective is how we see things; like, every T – H – I – N – G.
My life and the way I’ve achieved gratitude, happiness and contentment changed when I finally grasped the power of perspective. I was over 30 when I had my breakthrough, but better late than never. Dealing with anxiety and peopling and work and illness and all the nuances of life was doing too much. I would get frustrated about something usually not under my control. In almost every aspect of my life, especially my job, and it wore me out spiritually, mentally and physically. I know this may be exactly where some of you are RIGHT NOW.
Me learning not to focus on what I can’t control vs how I could respond and accept the flow (or lack of flow) of things has always been a SUPER struggle for me. I’m a Type A, ISTJ, analytical etc. etc. Personality and I don’t prefer not being in control. But, here’s the thing…
*Heads up – Knowledge Nugget Ahead
We have to step outside of ourselves and what’s happening around us to truly see a situation in a way that allows us to be more understanding and aware of the core point(s) of it. There are too many people in this world for you to feel like your view is the ONLY way there is! Once you get that, it is truly amazing how you can shift your mind and how you perceive a situation and how to work what may start off to be a bad or unhealthy scenario, and change it to something that can be mutually beneficial to both yourself and others.
Let me tell you how perspective changed my life…
Two years ago, I was ready to 1. Quit My Man, 2. My job, 3. My doctors, and 4 everything else that wasn’t peach – flavored, a sweet tea or a taco. I was in an ultra unhealthy one- sided relationship, hated a high-paying job that I used to love, being experimented on to find treatment for my allergies and the list goes on. I was eyes wide shut blessed. More well off than most from the outside looking in, and a whole hot mess on the inside. Oh, and the hone to the tea? Nobody truly realized my daily battles because I was too busy being judged by my polished appearance and reputation for hustle. Y’all, I was L O S T and miserable which only exacerbated my health issues. Being the champion of overthinking thbat I am, I dug my stress even deeper by realizing I was the exact opposite of stress not even 2 years earlier. Ugh!
WHAT I DID (I disappeared)
I ended my unhealthy relationship. I had to bless myself by making myself “disappear” from that toxic person and environment. And boy was it painful! If you are struggling with letting go, DM me for tips. I got you Boo. Don’t think that because I’m short on the topic that it was simple, it was an intricate ballet of planning, strategy and events my friends.
It took me THREE attempts of hopping in my car to return my work equipment and quit my job to realize I needed to get my ish together with how I viewed my situation. Stresses were high, courtesies were low, organization was gone and I could go on. Ten years ago I would have chucked the deuces in a heartbeat. But not now. Nope. I had to adult. And a lot of people don’t realize. How painful adulating can be sometimes! I told myself to sit, assess the situation, make a decision to stay or go, and then formulate a plan based off of the decision. As SOON as that line right there was realized, my light bulbs clicked on and it was time to make lemonade.
“OMG Bret, what did you do? What did you doooo????” – That’s you guys right there right?
I stayed!!! =)
I did not enjoy SOME parts of what I did, so I focused on the parts I did enjoy. I love creating documents, developing new concepts and strategies, and training people. So, I focused on those things while finding ways to cope with the less desirable parts.
When I felt my time was being wasted, I made it valuable myself. Many times a meeting was scheduled to start at a certain time, but the first 1 – 2 hours of it were spent on gossip, waiting on the facilitator or other issues not related to my duties specifically. I used that time to write out concepts for my business and do some future planning. You will never catch me without a notebook.
(Don’t fault the slackers. Later)
If I got to a site I had spent hours preparing lessons and materials for, had to leave my home, half sedate myself to handle anxious flying and travel to, just to get there and they say they weren’t expecting me, I would get SO annoyed. But, that stuff was not my fault, so I redirected my focus to appreciating the miles and rewards points that trip deposited into my travel accounts. I did the best I could while I was there. I did more on my own end to fill in some of the awful gaps in communication. Side note: I wonder how much money corporations lose on the breakdown in communication.
I shifted my perspective from feeling my time was being wasted and that I was an undervalued asset to realizing my checks still came on time with no delay. So in a sense to me, I got paid for all the prep work I put in and I got paid to deal with the travel inconveniences. No point in complaining Little Miss A – Type. In this organization I had a role, I played the heck out of that role and did amazing things, learned more than I could have ever imagined, and allowed myself to do noticeably good work that I was proud of. I had a brand to keep up. I checked out when things were idle and checked in when it was time to do things and stay in my lane as they say. I didn’t sacrifice my performance, I just realigned my views. Less than a year later I was laid off, and it was glorious.
Good Lordt what IS it?!
Georgia weather and allergens held my lungs for ransom before I could unload my little U-Haul truck. I finally got the lungs under control and developed a skin condition that seems only to respond to a regimen that includes over 7, yes, SEVEN different medicines; most of which are anti histamines and sedatives with a body-eating steroid and A LOT of shots to top it off. I switched Allergists and avoided any possible triggers as much as possible. NO LUCK
Even now that my issues are being closely tracked and treated, clear skin is still being held for ransom by my (not so) sterile environment. What gives?! Have you ever been fully tested for allergies before? It’s AWFUL! Top tier biological warfare torture tactic if you ask me. Especially when you are allergic to damn near everything you are poked with. But now I’m not frustrated about still not having a cure and identified source for my allergy issues. I have been more persistent on my treatments and well-being and it helps me. I’m beautiful, and although I’m very self-conscious about my skin, I see it as something that will just require my continued patience and optimism. It’s no longer such a big source of contention and feelings of inadequacy in my life. PERSPECTIVE. So what if I have medical issues, I make them look good.
Hear that train? It’s me tooting my Self-Love horn.
I’ve turned so many situations around with the clarity and peace that a positive perspective brings.
Please believe me when I say that ANY OF YOU can improve your quality of life once you sit and truly dig into your situations in an intentional way. What I’ve shared is just a few mint tea leaves to a Mojito. It’s just to get you thinking.
Let’s jot a few basic steps down on how to begin your perspective-changing journey.
1. Acknowledge that your situation is not the best it could be. You and only YOU are responsible for where you are in your life and the feelings you are experiencing right now.
2. Grab a notebook. Journeys are born in the mind and materialized on paper. Only then can the switch become the real deal.
3. Identify and eliminate your triggers. Everyone has them. Identify what throws you off, distracts you, or stresses you so that you can work to get rid of as many of them as possible.
4. Think about where you would like to be in life right now and how you would like to feel daily.
For every item you listed in #4 and write at least three steps needed to achieve those items.
Ex: Find a New Job/ Get a Promotion
-Decide what job position you want.
-Do a self-skills assessment as it pertains to that job.
-Plan your development and job hunt/promotion strategy
Ex: Be Happy
-Determine WHAT happiness really is to YOU.
-Determine what jeopardizes your happiness so that you can avoid them.
-Decide what you will do daily to achieve your happiness.
-Navigate to what positive outlooks can come from your current situation.
Train of thought sample – “My job doesn’t pay me enough”.
Accountability: You accepted the job with knowledge of salary. I accepted something simply because “it was available”. Now I got what I paid for.
Level set: This isn’t what I need it to be so now what? Be ready and willing to change.
Explore and plan: Ask for a raise that suits your salary need or plan your exit strategy to a better paying job.
Now, you should see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Do everything needed to make #4 happen. *See how we navigated that?
How can you learn from this scenario to gain PERSPECTIVE on the importance of decision- making?
What resources or platforms at your current job can you use to enhance and develop skills and requirements for that position you want? If there aren’t any available, what can you do yourself to enhance and develop necessary skills?
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More to come!